yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
