Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
