the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
