do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
