he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
