My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
