mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
