Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wear drunk well.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
