Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
