I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize