Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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