Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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