that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
