I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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