How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
