I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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