my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize