I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
