dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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