she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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