White coat. Heels.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize