So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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