i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
