watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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