he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
