Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
