i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
