I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
