Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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