the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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