road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
