i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
