I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This girl is more easily done than said...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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