i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
