maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just pee around me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
