OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
