marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
