Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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