none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize