I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
