it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
