I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
