so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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