I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
