I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
vagina is talking i cant
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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