This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
