kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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