??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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