Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
