he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
