I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
