"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
