I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We named our party play list daddy issues
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Someone came in the potted fern
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
