don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
