i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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