girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
