I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
