It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
