Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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