soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
