is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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