meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
