Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
