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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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